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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26576233">remember this</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemonah/pseuds/nightingale'>nightingale (lemonah)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, Character Study, Hinata Shouyou &amp; Kageyama Tobio Friendship, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Oblivious Hinata Shouyou, Third Year Hinata Shouyou, Third Year Tsukishima Kei, TsukiHina Week 2020</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:35:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,156</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26576233</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemonah/pseuds/nightingale</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hinata wanted to be better, to get stronger in the sport he truly loves by focusing on his high school club. He got teammates to travel with in this journey and one of them is Tsukishima. Him. Hinata doesn’t truly know what he thinks of him.</p><p> </p><p>Alternatively, how Hinata sees Tsukishima in their 3 years in high school.</p><p> </p><p>[TsukiHina week 2020 Day 1: Third Year]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Shouyou/Tsukishima Kei</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>100</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>TsukiHina week 2020!</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>remember this</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>general notes before you start reading:<br/>- the summary stated three years, but it mainly focuses on their 1st and 3rd years. some lines were directly lifted from the anime/manga. warning! may contain spoilers (if you haven't finished the manga yet)<br/>- wrote this as i get over my writer’s block so thank you tsukihina for making the cogs in my brain work again. (thank you also to the mods for making this event! the 3rd year tskhn in the prompt list just made me go brrrRrr)</p><p>lastly, happy tsukihina week and enjoy reading!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Time has surely gone by fast.</p><p>Two years ago, they managed to participate in the Spring Interhigh, the national tournament held during winter. The Tokyo Metropolitan Gymnasium is large—the lights above striking their eyes with how bright it is, the spacious gymnasium that their bodies were not accustomed to, the concourse of audiences and players from across the country. They were just first-years who dream nothing but rising to the top, who diligently train to play the sport a little longer, who wring their time and efforts to achieve things at a greater height.</p><p>It comes another year. Hinata smiles and takes a deep breath.</p><p>“Oi,” Tsukishima looks down at him. It turns out he bumped into him while he’s in deep thoughts. “Is it that difficult for you to look at where you are going?”</p><p>Hinata scowled at him. Tsukishima has been consistent the way he was since two years ago. He definitely remembers the first time they met.</p><p> </p><p>The sun is approaching to set, and the dusk sky is painting the field they are in. Hinata does focus on the ball that he is trying so hard to receive, then listens to the stern instructions and comments from Kageyama. The ball he anticipates in returning suspended mid-air. He remembers seeing the intruder up close, wondering if he’s a senior trying to pick a fight by provoking them. Hinata learns that his name is Tsukishima. He is tall, and his height is one of the things he wishes he could have. He doesn’t understand Kageyama and Tsukishima clashing, nor he’s in the position to know given the situation they are in, but enough is enough. In the end, he intervened.</p><p>To Hinata, jumping feels like being freed from the ground—it feels like flying. The millisecond spent suspending himself mid-air makes him believe that he has grown a wing to be above, to experience a place only a few travels on.</p><p>He wasn’t able to recall the expression plastered on Tsukishima’s face when he got the ball back from him.</p><p> </p><p>Hinata doesn’t notice how he is almost hit by a passing bicycle. He just felt a pressure on his wrist and the force of how Tsukishima pulled him closer.</p><p>“Tch. Younger ones sure have the audacity to break the rules.” The taller glared at those students who brought their bicycles even in restricted areas. “And you,” Tsukishima eyed him from head to toe. “Can you please be aware of your surroundings?”</p><p>“Ah, I’m okay!” Hinata is still surprised. With everything that’s happening in a snap of a finger, his reactions seem to be a little slow now. He realized that they are even too close for his comfort.</p><p>“I’m not asking about how you are feeling,” Tsukishima distanced himself, small steps behind, releasing Hinata slowly from his grip. “I’m telling you to be careful next time.”</p><p>“Y-yes! Thank you.”</p><p>The other did not respond. He just let go of his hand and started to walk ahead of him. Hinata didn’t think about how Tsukishima‘s voice softened on his last words.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>Tsukishima is early in their practice today. It is not actually a new sight, but he admits that he still cannot fully take it in. Most times, he and Kageyama will race to see who will arrive first. The first one who had the first step in will be hailed the winner. Most times recently, Yamaguchi and Tsukishima had already occupied the gymnasium the moment they arrived.</p><p><em> Understandable</em>, Hinata thought. Yamaguchi became the captain in their third year, and he’s responsible enough to prepare everything before their club meetings start. Tsukishima happens to be with him often. He remembers the time when he didn’t know if Tsukishima even likes playing volleyball.</p><p> </p><p>Yamaguchi asked him what he would say to Tsukishima at this moment. He doesn’t exert much effort as they do, doesn’t try like how the others are spending their time, doesn’t show and seek improvement. </p><p>“I wouldn’t say a thing,” he said. He may see the general picture of everything now, but he believes like it’s not his place, so he doesn’t talk and let Yamaguchi do it. He encouraged him because deep inside he’s worried, not because it’s volleyball and how it might affect them, but because he wants him to feel the ecstasy of playing it as he does.</p><p>He knew Tsukishima only did things that are cool. And he tells himself to trust in that.</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Tsukishima glared at him. It is only when Hinata realizes that he's staring at him. “You look like you’re plotting something against me. Should I be scared?”</p><p>“I’m not,” Hinata answered flatly. He just thinks about Tsukishima’s growth in the volleyball aspect, in the club, and how he is there to witness them all. From someone who leaves the training as soon as it ends, to being there earlier than most of the members to discuss some possible techniques to try with Yamaguchi.</p><p>Tsukishima continues to stare at him, clearly not believing what he just said. Two years with him at the club made him used to it. At this point now, Hinata doesn’t care if he’s judging him to the depth of his soul.</p><p>“By the way, here’s my notebook. Review my notes. Final exams are approaching again, so if you want to participate in the training camp, you better not flunk one of your exams.”</p><p>He blinked once, twice, and again. Tsukishima is really handling his notebook.</p><p>Hinata has thought how he (and Kageyama) would survive these exams without being a disturbance to Yachi. Of course, Yachi would say that they are not a bother, but being a manager and a part of the graduating class take a lot of time in her hands. He doesn’t want to take more time off her time to help them study.</p><p>“Do you want it or not?” Tsukishima is about to retract the notebook he’s been extending for Hinata to take.</p><p>“I want it!” He replied too eagerly. After getting the notebook, Tsukishima said no furthermore before walking away. Hinata’s mind is too preoccupied to even thank him.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>It’s a practice match against Shiratorizawa. Coach Washijo was not present, but instead, the team had Coach Saito to monitor them for today. Goshiki became the team’s captain in his third year. He was just a high freshman back then: the only regular first-year player in the team. Hinata remembers how he admired his straight and cross spikes.</p><p>The flashback of their first-year match in the qualifier of who will represent the Miyagi prefecture came across his mind.</p><p> </p><p>Time runs slow yet so fast for Hinata. It is the second set of their match with Shiratorizawa. Ushijima is an unbeatable force, with his spikes reflecting the power he radiates in his stature. Even Nishinoya had a hard time receiving the ball earlier. If the opposing team will take this set, it will be difficult for the team. Their dream of being at the Nationals will stray further away.</p><p>That’s the only thing flooding his mind. It felt like his train of thoughts went slower, the air around him became heavier, and the sound of the loud gymnasium muted. His anxiety increases as the rally continues. They are in their last point needed in order to win this set. Hoping is the least thing he could do, but the last thing he should be thinking right now. An actualization must be done: it is they who could make it happen, it is they who could pass the ball over to the other side, it is one of them who could block Ushijima—</p><p>The whiplash of the sudden flicker of consciousness hits him. Ushijima’s spike has been blocked. The crowd roars in the mix of surprise and disappointment. A sound echoes through his ears, too distinguishable for him to recognize. It was Tsukishima.</p><p>This time, the moment feels like an eclipse. The sky turned bright again after seconds of shade, of darkness. It’s too bright, just like the spark of hope that maybe they could win this. </p><p>“That one point was worth 100 points!” Hinata said to Tsukishima with his thumb up. Tsukishima just smiled, his usual smug one. It must mean something else that pisses Hinata off, but when Tanaka stopped the two of them, he looked away and hid his smile. He knew that he could do it, and he did.</p><p>“The game is just starting.”</p><p>He’s right. Hinata nodded along with his teammates. They still have three sets to go.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And Tsukishima saved yet another set. And they won. They all did their best, but he could easily say Tsukishima is the MVP of this game. He didn’t, and doesn’t have to, let him know of that.</p><p> </p><p>Ahh, Tsukishima. His growth is something really commendable to Hinata. He’s good to begin with, that’s why he was annoyed how he is not using his height especially in this sport. Now that he's putting more effort into it, Hinata may label him as the hidden ace of the team.</p><p>“Don’t space out,” Tsukishima alerts him. They are now moved to the front line and currently forming a block against Goshiki’s spike. His spike is always unpredictable that they tend to be lured into the opposite of where the ball will go. Tsukishima seems to get a hang of it though the accuracy isn’t fully a hundred percent. A one-touch would suffice.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey hey, Karasuno 5!” Goshiki greeted him after the match. Hinata stopped in his tracks while cleaning to smile back at him. “I see you’re doing good.”</p><p>“Yes,” Hinata accepted the hand Goshiki extended. It’s a friendly gesture, with being rivals on court forgotten. “Same with you. Thank you for allowing us to have a practice match with your team.”</p><p>“Uh, no problem.” Goshiki rubbed the back of his head. “Coach Washijo was actually against it. I just convinced him a little to allow us.”</p><p>“Wow,” Hinata’s eyes shone. “As expected of the authority of a captain.”</p><p>“We will beat you in this year’s Interhigh. This practice match is a good reference.”</p><p>“Likewise,” Tsukishima intruded. His arm draped against Hinata’s shoulders. “We won’t lose.”</p><p>Hinata smiled at them. Tsukishima has probably already taken notes from this match. They should also have to work harder as a team to achieve it.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>For the third consecutive year, Coach Anabara administered the training camp in the prefecture that mirrors the All-Japan Youth Training Camp held in Tokyo. Only the first years are invited, including one of their own. Kato is tall and has a potential in volleyball which certainly fits Coach Washijo’s standards. It’s not a surprise that he’s the one selected.</p><p>“Don’t tell me you plan on sneaking again?” Tsukishima turned to face him, his smile teasing after Takeda-sensei announced who will be Karasuno’s representative.</p><p>“Damn you, Tsukishima.” The memory comes back to him that caused his skin to tingle and his hairs to rise. Now that he thinks of it, it is truly an embarrassing memory. Not that he regrets it. “Don’t remind me of it anymore.” He tries to bury it deep in his memory.</p><p> </p><p>“Oi,” Tsukishima entered from behind, just when Hinata is about to pick up the ball. “Hurry up and get ready to go back. We still have to go to school tomorrow.”</p><p>Hinata already apologized to everyone he had troubled in his action. To all, but Tsukishima, so he made use of this time to say his apologies. He must have suffered the unwarranted second-hand embarrassment he bore on his shoulders as his teammate. The words lie bitter at the tip of his tongue.</p><p>“I... I’m...” He hates uttering these very words to the man in front of him. Especially to him, when the most he wanted is to appear strong because he’s showing foolishness that he doesn’t want the other to rub salt against. “I’m sorry for the trouble.”</p><p>“If you want to apologize then forget about it.” Tsukishima looked serious that Hinata thought of just shrinking straight to the ground. “You acting recklessly without thinking isn’t anything new.”</p><p>The words Tsukishima said afterward sent daggers directly into him. He doesn’t take offense; he knew this nature of him from the very start. And he’s in the wrong, to begin with. He just ran away before Tsukishima even said anything further.</p><p> </p><p>(Hinata missed the smile Tsukishima had when he turned his back away. He definitely doesn’t know that Tsukishima felt relief that he doesn’t have to go through it alone and how he silently looks after Hinata.)</p><p> </p><p>He heard Tsukishima laugh, genuinely, without any malice. He is laughing like he’s recalling a good memory. The sound rings straight to his ears, then a blossoming feeling fluttered in his chest.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>The exams are fast approaching. </p><p>Hinata and Kageyama review together during their free time, but they are both aware that their dawdling won’t get them anywhere. Their last resort is to talk to Yachi and ask her to help them. Three days before the exam should be enough, Hinata thinks. They hope it won’t be such a bother to Yachi especially that she seemed engaged in a lot of activities these past days.</p><p>“How about Tsukishima?” Hinata suggested. “He’s smart and probably already studied everything.”</p><p>“But he’s not kind enough to teach us,” Kageyama answered back. True enough. He’s sorry that Tsukishima had to deal with their stupidity, but some people are not born academically smart. It only adds that studying never interests both of them.</p><p>“Ahh, you’re right, but he lent me his notebook.” Kageyama peered at what Hinata was getting out of his bag. “I scanned it yesterday. Not as organized as Yachi’s but it should be a great help. Only if he set time in teaching us.”</p><p>“Idiot. He gave you the notebook so that you can study it yourself. That means that’s the only help he can afford to give.”</p><p>Hinata let out a long, withdrawn sigh. What if he is right? What if he looks outright terrible that Tsukishima had to voluntarily let him borrow his notebook. What if it’s a silent plea to not disturb him anymore because his notes are already given to him.</p><p>Kageyama isn’t really considering asking for Tsukishima’s help. Maybe he should just swallow his pride once more and do it himself.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Tsukishima!” Hinata called for him on the other end of the hallway. He ran towards him when he paused and put down his headphones. Catching his breath, he asked him, “do you have time to spare?”</p><p>“What for?” The taller man looks uninterested at first, but he’s willing to listen. “You could’ve just said it in our club meetings.”</p><p>“Well…” Hinata hesitated if he should still continue. “Can I ask you a favor of teaching me? Just for this subject.”</p><p>“Only you?” He feels that he already piqued Tsukishima’s interest. He now has just to keep going and maybe add some encouragement that it won’t be hard.</p><p>“Yes.” Hinata beamed. “Kageyama and I decided to study separately this time. He said he’ll ask Yachi, so I went with you.” <em> Lies. </em> He doesn’t even know what Kageyama will do, but one thing’s for sure: he doesn’t want to let Tsukishima teach him. Hinata silently apologizes and promises himself that he will teach Kageyama what he learned. “I think it will be effective, so… I’m asking you this time…”</p><p>“Oh,” a pause. Tsukishima looks like he’s considering it. “That’s fine with me.”</p><p>“Really?!” Hinata jumped in the combination of surprise and joy.</p><p>“Can you please calm down and let me finish?” The taller man sneered at him. “I will set my conditions and if you are not able to abide by those, just <em> once </em>, we will stop this.”</p><p>“Sure, of course! Anything.”</p><p> </p>
<ol>
<li>Instead of three (3) days, the study sessions will be held everyday this whole week. This includes Saturday (as a bonus because I’m feeling generous now), with the exemption of Sunday.</li>
<li>Time: before club meetings <span class="u">only</span>.</li>
<li>Do not disturb me beyond those times scheduled for the study sessions.</li>
</ol><p> </p><p>Hinata winced upon reading the last number. The memo was written on a piece of paper by Tsukishima. His handwriting is not as neat as others expect it to be, but it is still decent that it somehow pisses Hinata off. He should be thankful because Tsukishima allowed studying with him for six days which exceeds his plan of studying only three. The paper serves now as their contract, and this will take effect exactly by tomorrow.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>They started to meet every day at the corner of Tsukishima’s classroom before going to the club. Students are free to do whatever they want in this time though most of them spend it sleeping. He looks around the classroom. It is basically the same as theirs but it looks a little more organized. <em> The students appear to be quieter, </em> Hinata observed. Maybe because it is already the time of the day where the majority of them are tired.</p><p>Another thing he noticed is the bunch of girls who are peeking from outside the room.</p><p>“Tsukishima,” Hinata called his attention in a soft voice. “Do they have something to do with your class?”</p><p>Tsukishima looks to where Hinata is talking about, then he returns to the book he is reading. “Don’t mind them.”</p><p> </p><p>On the third day, Hinata is slowly picking up the lessons that were not clear to him. They are on their usual spot, exactly an hour before club activities will start. He learns that Tsukishima can be patient if he wants to– he assists him, asks him if he could not understand something, and offers him food. He can feel his patience running out at times and Hinata had to apologize in advance for it. </p><p>It was on the fourth day when Hinata realized that the girls who consistently peek from outside the classroom window wanted to get a glimpse of Tsukishima. How come it took him four days to be enlightened of the situation. Hinata asked himself if he was not able to trace the direction of eyesight days ago.</p><p>He noticed that Tsukishima’s classmates are used to it. Hinata checked to see if the girls were still at their position when they started to leave one by one. Most of them are their juniors. </p><p>Hinata stares at Tsukishima. He must admit that he does not look bad himself– he’s tall, his hair that he kept long flows perfectly that compliments his pale skin, and lastly, he’s smart. He’s (a bit?) mean, like a cube of ice left longer on your skin, a salt rubbed on your wound, a rose thorn that prickles when held carelessly. If he’s a little more kind, he will probably have a crush on him too.</p><p>He shook his head. He must block where his thoughts are going.</p><p>“Any problem?” Tsukishima looked at him, confused. He must have been startled by Hinata’s movements.</p><p>“None,” He raised his hands defensively. “Nothing at all.”</p><p>Hinata can sense Tsukishima’s gaze at him. He’s burning at his seat, unable to focus on what the other has told him to read. He’s afraid that Tsukishima is reading his mind like an open book, so he calmed himself and decided not to think about it again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Once this is done, I’ll buy you food as compensation.” Hinata stretched out his arms, yawning as he looked at the clock. 15 minutes left until this tutoring session is over. It’s the second to the last day. </p><p>“Okay,” Tsukishima doesn’t lift his head and continues to write. When he does, his eyes meet Hinata’s before saying, “Spend a moment of your time with me tomorrow.”</p><p>Tsukishima smiled. It’s not his usual teasing smile he wears whenever he would tease Hinata, whenever he tries to annoy him, and whenever he highlights how idiot he is. It is the smile that he rarely shows—reserved for special events that must be held close to heart, revealed to people he finds comfort with.</p><p>Tsukishima smiling like this is not a bad sight to see, and he would like to see it often. </p><p> </p><p>(Hinata doesn’t admit he finds the man in front of him beautiful.)</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>“Did I arrive late?” Hinata asked when he saw Tsukishima standing against the wall on the side of the park where they decided to meet. He checked his watch; he’s 5 minutes early. Tsukishima must be really punctual. </p><p>“No,” Tsukishima slid his phone back to his pocket when he saw Hinata. “I was a bit early.”</p><p>Hinata found a pancake stall while he was on his way, so he bought two for the both of them. He doesn’t know what Tsukishima wants to do today that’s why he brought his notebook and reviewer with him just in case. He handed it to him, together with the beverage he got from the vending machine.</p><p><em> Itadakimasu</em>.</p><p>They began to eat in silence once they settled on a bench shaded against the rays of the afternoon sun. Admittedly, the air is a little awkward for Hinata. He doesn’t know what to talk about, or if Tsukishima does even want to talk. Hinata just finished eating his piece.</p><p>“When I was young,” Tsukishima hesitantly spoke. Hinata can tell that maybe he’s contemplating if he should keep going or not. “I frequently visit this park.” </p><p>“I used to play like a normal child does. With their neighbors, until the sun starts to set.” Hinata looks at him and starts to listen. “My brother taught me how to play volleyball, and I also taught it to my playmates. It was fun, playing with them.”</p><p>Tsukishima being outgoing in his childhood is something Hinata can never visualize. He lets him continue.</p><p>“But it wasn’t long,” he paused. “I began to distance myself. I grew taller, and taller, than most people in my age. They said their other friends are afraid of me. I decided that it will be good if I won’t play with them anymore. That they will be okay without me.”</p><p>“Just a few more years later, my brother joined volleyball teams. He consistently played it from middle school up to high school. He entered Karasuno and he even has the same jacket as we have.” </p><p>Hinata already met his brother. If not being held at work, he would watch their games and cheer on them. Tsukishima finished eating too. Hinata continues to feel the breeze as he listens.</p><p>“I learned to play volleyball again because I want to be like him. He always goes home smiling and telling us how the training was. He said he is the ace.” Another pause. “But he was not able to show his full capabilities. He was not given a chance. That’s why I decided to walk the same path as him to see what could’ve been in the way. I thought I would be able to find peace in that.”</p><p>Tsukishima is saying something very personal to him. They are third years already and just a few months after, they will graduate and walk on different paths. He’s grateful to be given a chance to know Tsukishima more from his narrative.</p><p>“So I entered Karasuno.” Tsukishima began drinking his juice Hinata got for him. Once he’s done, he resumes again. “Just a few days later, I met you. In that open field.”</p><p>“Ahh, yes. I remember that.” Hinata smiled. That was two years ago, around the same time as now. “You were really annoying, Tsukishima.”</p><p>Tsukishima laughed at that. “To be fair, I never liked you in the first place.”</p><p>“You were the complete opposite of me.” He added while having his eyes fixed on the empty swing in front of them. “You try too hard and you don’t think before acting.”</p><p>Hinata admits that it’s true, so he doesn’t take offense in that. He stares at Tsukishima, his features highlighted by the orange hues caused by the sunset and his hair slightly disheveled by the wind blowing. Hinata is trying to take this sight in. Maybe if he stares a little longer, the warmth will stay, the time will slow down, the moment will be preserved. All in his memory.</p><p>“You’re too simpleminded,” Tsukishima went on. “You’re not afraid to try things out, not afraid to fail. And I’m annoyed. Annoyed that you look best in that. Annoyed that I also feel like I have to look after you even if it’s not my responsibility.”</p><p>“But you don’t have to—“</p><p>“I can’t help but to <em> care, </em> ” Hinata heard Tsukishima raise his voice a little, strained from holding back. “I hate that I was not able to go back to how I <em> was </em>by the moment I was drawn in. That I just let myself.” Hinata is confused. Does Tsukishima truly hate him? “I let myself be consumed by the light, to hope, to believe, to feel happiness again. To look forward to another day.”</p><p>“Isn’t that a good thing?” Tsukishima is speaking deeply right now Hinata is having a hard time to fully understand what he’s trying to say. So he advised what he does all his life, “Just go for what makes you happy. Work for things you want to achieve.”</p><p>“You don’t understand it, do you?” </p><p>Hinata nodded at that.</p><p>“God, help me, I don’t really know what I liked about you.” Tsukishima has his hands on his face because of frustration? Embarrassment? Wait, what did he tell him again? </p><p>“You’re the very exact opposite of what I should like. You can even comprehend what I was saying.”</p><p>“What—“</p><p>“Yes. I like you, Hinata.” Tsukishima faced him, his hands both on Hinata’s shoulders. His confession was uttered in a way that he’s almost shouting. The man in front of him can also lose his composure at times. </p><p>“I like you, for two years now.” He looked down, his hands shaking. “It is something that came out suddenly because I only saw you as a teammate, a rival at the same time. I realized that I like seeing you beyond class activities, that I have gotten accustomed to the sunlit environment when you’re around. I knew I’m fucked when I want to constantly look after you to make sure you won’t do anything dumb again, when I want to hear you laugh.” Tsukishima breathes, again, like he just ran a lap in their running exercise during training. He then withdrew his hands only for them to uncontrollably move again. </p><p>“I have to live by it, everyday, that I have to always act normally like I used to, as <em> just </em> your teammate. I silently watch over you, hoping you’d somehow notice what I want to convey through my actions.” Hinata noticed Tsukishima saving his ass in some situations, but never did it cross his mind that the other <em>likes</em> him. His brain short circuited at that.</p><p>“I waited until this day, Hinata. I let myself to hope; I prepared myself to see my ideals get crushed again. I tried not to spill it out today because I was able to conceal it for years, but you said to go for it.”</p><p>Tsukishima smiled bitterly before standing up. “I’m sorry if everything came out as a shock. I do not wish that my feelings be returned, so don’t worry.” Hinata blinked. He needs to say something, but his mouth is failing him. “Good luck on the exams. I hope I was of help.” Tsukishima turned his back and started to walk away.</p><p>“I,” Hinata is choosing his words carefully. He’s trying to encompass his true feelings in what he’s about to say. Letting him know of these should be the safe choice before it’s too late. “I think you’re being selfish, Tsukishima.” </p><p>Tsukishima stopped in his tracks and turned to face Hinata.</p><p>“Why won’t you listen to me?” He shouted, audible enough for Tsukishima who already paced forward. “You might be mean, but I like you the way you are.” </p><p>“I like you too, Tsukishima Kei.” Hinata finally admits, out loud, with his smile that rivals the sun, with his voice that reached the three meters of their distance. He kept the words simple, but they were enough for Tsukishima to go back.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>“Are you serious about trying beach volleyball?” Tsukishima asked him while they’re on break. Hinata looked up from collecting balls that were neglected on the sides. He nodded.</p><p>“Just wondering if your stupidity had gotten out of control.” He then resumed drinking. Tsukishima smirked when he saw Hinata growling at him.</p><p>Tsukishima hasn’t changed, not even a bit. Hinata likes him as he is, still as prickly as ever where his words are always meant to be blunt, where the gentleness and coddling don’t even stand a chance. Still, he understands what his true intentions are.</p><p>“I wouldn’t be going on a lark.” Hinata started picking up the balls again. “I can’t win by myself, so I need to get stronger.”</p><p>“Can’t you just stay?” Tsukishima asked quietly, like a shy kid asking for something. </p><p>“Two years won’t be long.” Hinata smiled at him. “C’mon, Tsukishima-kun. We still have months left. A Spring Interhigh to play on. A year for me to prepare. Just say you’ll miss me and go.”</p><p>Tsukishima doesn’t have a rebuttal for that. </p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>Hinata will definitely remember this the time.</p><p>It reflects the scene when they first met– the sunset, the dusk sky, the same field. The difference comes in the form of the cotton candy in one of his hands, the absence of volleyball, and his other hand taken by Tsukishima’s. There’s a silence, the one where Hinata finds comfort with. He isn’t in the midair now, but he feels like he’s lifted in the air, that he’s sitting on the soft foam of clouds. </p><p>Their relationship is founded on trust, on words not needed to be told. Their day includes Tsukishima ruffling his hair, of him snuggling on his shoulders when Hinata rests his back on him, of their hands interlocked, of Hinata standing up higher to reach him because Tsukishima’s being a little shit and doesn’t give him the ball back. Even the slightest actions of soft touches when left alone and the forehead kisses Tsukishima gives him make Hinata’s heart beat a little faster.</p><p>“Your hand is really small compared to mine.” Tsukishima said as a matter of fact while his hand is playing with his. </p><p>“News flash, Tsukishima.” Hinata huffed. He knew he meant to poke fun at him again. When he’s about to retract his hand, Tsukishima held it tighter and interlocked it with his. </p><p>Tsukishima looked at him and smiled. Hinata finally admits it to himself that he finds, and has always found him beautiful. A sight he wants to lay his eyes on everyday.</p><p>It’s something he wanted for so long yet he failed to see.</p><p>In the future, he knows he’ll look back to this. He will remember it from the beginning, and everything in between.</p><p><br/>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>if you've reached this part, thank you and pls take care of yourself. &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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